The Evil Conservative Empire of The Palentine is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Empress Jhessan Spaulding with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and vat-grown people. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 41.355 billion Palentineans enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Burgh. The average income tax rate is 36.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Palentinean economy, worth an astonishing 14,901 trillion greenbacks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 360,321 greenbacks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Voting is voluntary, people regularly disappear off the streets and all evidence of them is destroyed, mathematicians are gathering an infinite number of sphinxian treecats and typewriters to see if they can recreate the works of Max Barry, and the ingredients list for most food products covers the entire surface of the packaging. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Palentine's national animal is the sphinxian treecat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Reaganism.

The Palentine is ranked 1,290^th in the world and 5^th in Antarctic Oasis for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 228,083.34 Standard Monetary Units.